Tag Archives: your momma wears combat boots

Wheat-free Blueberry Pancakes

An old man awoke before sunrise to see a youth standing at water’s edge, heaving a starfish back into the ocean. He asked the youth what was the purpose of his effort. The youth replied that the tide had washed all the starfish onto the beach and they can’t get back to the ocean by themselves. If they don’t get back into the ocean before sunrise they will die, he said. Upon further surveying of the situation, the old man saw the beach was littered with starfish in numbers beyond calculation. The hopelessness of the effort became clear and the old man told the youth that there were more starfish than he could ever hope to save before the sun comes up, and that surely he could not make a difference. The youth paused briefly to consider the old man’s words then bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible. He turned to the old man and said, “I made a difference to that one.”

The reason I am telling you this story is because I go through something similar quite often with friends and family members on a weekly basis and I’m getting a little tired of it. “Oh you couldn’t possibly make any kind of a difference to the situation! Blah!” However, according to PETA’s website, and I quote, “every vegetarian saves the lives of a hundred animals per year.” Now, considering how much meat my kids and I ate before going veg, I’m going to bump that number up. In fact, I think most people eat much more meat that. So suck it, omnivorous pricks.

I chose this recipe because I wanted to experiment with all the flours I went out and bought. It is a mix of Isa’s wheat free mix that I found on the PPK forum, the pancake batter mix I found in “eat, drink, and be vegan” and the blueberry pancake mix I found in “vegan with a vengeance.” It has a lot of different flours in it so that may be a problem for those on a budget but the thing is, when you bake for gluten-free folks, you have to use a bunch of different flours because each one does something different in the recipe. I don’t know much about chemistry but I know when things taste like sawdust.

Wheat-free Blueberry Pancakes

3 Tbsp tapioca flour

1 Tbsp ground flax seed

1/4 cup

1/3 cup plus 2 Tsbp white rice flour

1/3 cup plus 2 Tbsp quinoa flour

3/4 tsp cinnamon **this helps mask the ‘earthy’ taste of these. don’t leave it out.

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

1/3 cup water

1 1/4 cups soy or rice milk **I used almond milk

1 tsp vanilla

2 Tbsp pure maple syrup **at $6 per 8 oz, I just use regular cheapy syrup and my stuff tastes fine

1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries, doesn’t matter. **I used frozen because that’s always what I have

Mix the holy crap out of this stuff. Since there’s no gluten, you don’t have to worry about them getting all tough on you, but you do have to worry about everything getting distributed evenly. I read somewhere that you should add xanthan gum to wheat-free baked goods and I bought a bag of it, but I forgot to add it. So add at your own risk, if you want. Anyways, cook them in a fry pan greased up like a pig at a county fair. You know how to do that, right? I don’t have to walk you through it? Cool. Top your pancakes with this stuff-

Celestial Cream

1/2 cup to 3/4 cup pure maple syrup **again, too expensive! the cheapy stuff works fine! If you’re watching your sugar or cutting back on processed crap, then yeah, use the expensive stuff.

1/2 cup vegan margarine (earth balance or smart balance light)

1 tsp vanilla

12 oz silken tofu, like Mori-nu

1/4 tsp salt

Heat syrup and margarine on low heat until margarine melts. Add vanilla, tofu and salt. Place in blender and blend until smooth. Delicious!!! ***I actually just threw all this in a blender instead of heating it up. Still yummy!

So I hope you enjoy these. I have a recipe for vegan pancakes that just has plain old flour but what fun is that?

Oh, and a preemptive strike into “skinny bitch” and “skinny bitch in the kitch.” First of all, in “kitch,” the authors state that they know how much it blows when you have a recipe that has a bunch of goofy ingredients that are hard as hell to find. However, these broads want you to run out and buy refined coconut oil ($15.99!!!), safflower oil, kelp powder, and shit like that. Come on, ladies. Let’s keep it real, shall we? I’m still determined to find a couple of recipes that I like and can use more than once so keep your fingers crossed.

Until then, have a fabulous day!!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized