Category Archives: baking

Apple Crisp Cupcakes

So, you know how some people are like, “Oh, hey, I meant to call you but I’ve been busy…”? Well, I am probably one of the only people you’ll ever meet in your life who IS genuinely busy. And uh, yeah, I meant to call you, he he.

But seriously, I just started school full time, I work part time, and I have one toddler and two teenagers who I have to drive here, there, and everywhere, otherwise I’m made to feel like an a-hole. This is the reason I all but stopped my side baking business with an exception now and again- like today.

It’s Superbowl Sunday! I have to work and I’m bringing in these delicious apple crisp cupcakes. The recipe is pretty basic- take the vanilla cupcake recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World and cross it with the Apple Crisp Cupcake from Julie Hasson’s 125 Best Cupcake Recipes. Totally vegan and totally delicious! Simply add 1 cup of peeled, chopped apple to the batter of the vegan vanilla cupcake. Then make this streusel…

Streusel:

3/4 cup brown sugar

3 Tbsp Earth Balance

1 tsp cinnamon

pinch salt

Mix together until you have coarse, wet crumbs. Fill your lined muffin cups half way with the batter. Place a dollop of the streusel mixture in the center then fill to the top with more batter. Bake at 350 for about 26 minutes, possibly more, if your oven sucks. Let cool completely. Yes, they will be very sticky and gooey but seriously, if anyone actually complains about this, remove the cupcake from their hand, toss it in the trash and say “There. Not so sticky now, is it!?”

Apple Crisp Cupcakes

Oh and I tried to download the cupcake toppers my friend Natalie posted in her blog but I have this new-ish printer that apparently doesn’t have magenta ink, thus being the reason why it was given to me, i guess. Alas, no toppers.

Enjoy these!!

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Another Bridal Shower

Can you believe it? someone actually found my website and called to order! I was shocked, too, honestly. I put up that website so my friends and family members could all get a good laugh out of my rudeness. I had no idea someone would actually take any of it serious.

Alas, along came Jan, searching the web for treats for her daughters bridal shower. She remembered having my goodies at a friends son’s christening in which the cupcakes were in the shape of a cross-I kid you not. Not individual cross-shaped cupcakes, nooooooo. She wanted them on a very large platter placed neatly to resemble her saviour’s crucifix. Hey, man, if you’re paying me, I’ll put them in the shape of an inverted pentagram. Whatever.

So Jan read my website thoroughly and called to discuss numbers and flavors. She says, “I read where you put that you only do full dozens and I want you to know, that’s okay. I understand.” It was nice to hear someone agree in the face of the naysayers telling me I should kiss as much ass as possible and just give people what they want. Nah, says I. Not gonna happen.

She ordered strawberry with strawberry cream cheese icing, white chocolate macadamia with orange cream cheese icing, chocolate with chocolate icing, cappuccino chip with coffee buttercream, lemon scented angel food cakes with lemon cream cheese icing, red velvet with plain cream cheese icing, and strawberry margarita. there was something for everyone, including the already-drunk-when-she-walked-in mother of the groom.

I was trying a new cappuccino chip recipe and there weren’t enough to taste so I hope they were good. I always encourage honest feedback from my customers, I hope they don’t just blow smoke up my ass. This recipe called for finely ground coffee in the actual batter which sounded a bit weird and possibly gritty to me, so who knows. She told me everything was fabulous and I really hope that it was. It sure looked good!!

So even though this is a mostly vegan food blog, not one of these recipes is vegan. This blog started out as me complaining about my kids, then went into my small-time baking projects, and THEN went vegan so I feel I must stay true somewhat to my roots and post pics of the stuff I do for others special events.

Oh, and if anyone has any advice on how to make strawberry cream cheese icing pipeable, hit me up. I’m dying over here. All I can ever manage is to put a blob on each cuppie and hope that it doesn’t drip too much. I had so much frosting go to waste because I didn’t know what else to do with the leftover. The very first time I made it, it was phenominal and I don’t know what I did that was different. Oh well!

Here’s the recipe for the angel food cupcakes. I get a lot of peeps asking about this one.

Angel Food cupcakes

½ cup cake flour

¼ cup confectioners’ sugar

5 large egg whites, at room temperature

¼ teaspoon salt

½ tsp vanilla

½ teaspoon cream of tartar

¼ cup plus 2 Tbsp granulated sugar

1-2 tsp grated lemon zest (optional, for lemony angels)

Oven at 325.

Line muffin pan with foil liners. In a small bowl, combine the cake flour with the confectioners’ sugar. In a large bowl, combine the egg whites with the salt, vanilla and cream of tartar and beat until soft peaks form. Gradually beat in the granulated sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time, until the whites are firm and glossy. Sift the flour mixture over the egg whites in 2 additions, folding gently until incorporated.

Spoon the batter into the muffin cups. Bake for 13 to 15 minutes, shifting the pan from front to back, until the cupcakes are springy and golden. Transfer the cupcakes to a rack to cool.

To make them just lightly lemon scented, add 1-2 teaspoons of grated lemon zest to the batter.

To make them a lot more lemony, add ¼ cup thawed frozen lemonade.

I like to be decadent since the cake itself has pretty much no fat. I make my favorite cream cheese icing and when you would normally put in a tablespoon or two of milk to soak up the dryness of the powdered sugar, I put in a tablespoon or two fresh squeezed lemon juice. It’s so tangy you think your lips are going to stay in that puckered butthole position for awhile, but they won’t, don’t worry.

Oh, and If you aren’t feeling decadent at all, just slice strawberries and put those on top, lame-o.

Enjoy!

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Banana Split Pudding Brownies

I have been craving some chocolate lately, and in a mean, mean way. Since I can’t just run out an buy a candy bar, I have to make my own stuff. Normally, I would bust out my copy of Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World, close my eyes, hold out my finger and randomly pick a recipe (then flip around until I found something I REALLY wanted to make). However, I was in the mood for something a little more…fudgey. Not to mention we had a bunch of brown bananas that needed to go away as they were housing a colony of fruit flies on my damn windowsill. So, I opened my bent, dirty, sticky copy of Vegan With a Vengeance and found this heaven sent jumble of words. I’m not sure why they are called Banana Split Pudding Brownies, they were more like fudgey brownies with a creamy banana topping, but they were awesome nonetheless. Another home run by Isa. Love you, girl.

As usual, I made some adjustments to my liking and to how I do things, so if you see things differently here as to what’s in the book, get over it. I think next time I make these, though, I will put them in a smaller pan, maybe 9×9, and bake them longer. I’ll let you know how that turns out. Here they are-

For the brownies-

4 oz semi sweet chocolate chopped, or 4 oz mini chips

2 large overripe bananas, mashed

1/3 cup canola oil

1 cup sugar

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup flour

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/8 tsp salt

For the topping-

2 large overripe mashed bananas

2 Tbsp sugar

1/4 cup soy milk *i used vanilla soy milk, it was all I had. Boooo….

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 Tbsp arrowroot powder

For decoration and even more banana yumminess-

1 ripe, but not too ripe banana, sliced

Oven at 350. Spray a 9×13 pan with no-stick.

For the brownies…melt the chocolate chips in a small glass bowl in the microwave for one minute. Stir until smooth, set aside. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, mix bananas, oil and sugar with your hand held mixer until well combined. Mix in vanilla and melted chocolate. In a separate bowl, mix together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Add this to the banana mixture in batches and blend completely, but you know, as usual, don’t over mix.

In a small bowl, combine all topping ingredients and beat until well combined, about a minute.

Spread brownie mixture evenly in baking pan. pour banana topping over that and spread evenly. Bake for 30 minutes. Let cool for 15, then move to fridge until fully cooled. To the left is what mine looked like when they came out of the oven. Cut into twelve portions, top with sliced bananas and serve. YUM. I actually cut them into 24 portions and there was no evil uprising. I kept them in the fridge because, I dunno, they just seemed like a fridge type thing. Her directions say to top with sliced bananas, place on plate, and eat with a fork but after cutting them smaller and refrigerating them, totally not necessary. The extra bananas are totally up to you.

Here they are again as smaller bars and with a movie I watched last night that I frigging loved to little bloody pieces. Best line ever- “You two took away everything I ever loved. Fuck you both.” Lucky Number Slevin. Go rent it.

So, my review of “Skinny Bitch in the Kitch” is going to be kinda negative. If this was a book you liked, well, you should buy better vegan cookbooks, truthfully. I didn’t hate it, let’s be honest, if I wrote a cookbook, it would have the kind of mean-spirited butthole-ishness that this one has. As I put in my previous post, one of the pages in the book states, and I quote, “There’s nothing more annoying that recipes with a million obscure ingredients.” Agreed. But then some of their recipes call for stuff like kelp powder, or refined coconut oil to the tune of $16 for 16 ounces. OUCH! Evaporated cane sugar? I couldn’t find that crap anywhere. A good portion of their recipes consist of things like “vegan cheese, vegan turkey lunch meat, vegan chicken cutlets, etc.” You know, the kind of stuff I could have figured out for myself, for pete’s sake. I was not impressed. Sigh….

I think maybe this book was made for girls who don’t know how to cook and just got into the whole vegan thing. In that respect, I can dig it. But if you are a seasoned home cook, like I am, this book won’t cut it. No offense ladies. However! I have found one recipe that I am willing to try and I will post/bitch about it in a few days.

Until then, have a good one! I know I will. I get to spend tomorrow night in Chicago while my daughter is at the Good Charlotte(gag) show. I’m going to see the Hulk and then it’s off to Veggie Bite or Joy’s Noodles. Probably Veggie Bite. I effing love their shakes. Woot.

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Just Desserts going vegan?

Nah…but I am going to dabble. Okay, here’s the deal.

Over a year ago my daughter decided she was done eating things that were once alive. She was surfing the web one day and came across the infamous PETA video of minks being skinned alive so that J-Lo may wear their precious fur. She was inconsolable. She said it made her feel guilty, and honestly, like she wanted to throw up all the meat she ever ate in her life. I supported her and tried to make things that i could easily set aside a portion of before i threw the meat into. You know, spaghetti, stir fry, that type of thing. I ended up buying her pre-made vegetarian stuff that while tasty, was not nearly as healthy as it should have been. She informed me that she wanted to do it the healthy way so i told her to go look at my cookbooks, since i have an arsenal of vegetarian and vegan cookbooks from my days as a person who once gave a crap about the environment.

That was so long ago, almost 8 years since i gave it up. Like all new vegetarians, i armed myself with the PETA starter kit-complete with stickers and a list of things that would be different if people would stop eating meat- and a brand new attitude about the sanctity of life. I was ready to be a good vegetarian, to have a plant-based, peace loving life.

I was shot down by about every single stinking person i came into contact with. I got laughed at, called names, had burger patties thrown at me. Yes, these were actual adults stooping to this level of childishness. I worked in a restaurant and no one there had any patience for a person like me. I was basically against everything they stood for, i suppose. I started to question the aforementioned sanctity of life thinking, “if i shanked one of these jagoffs, would anyone notice? Really?”

Anyhow, I was a vegetarian for quite a few years. I went vegan for about 8 months but I became skeletal because of my work schedule as well as my finances. I was too busy to make things and too broke to buy things pre-made. There was just nothing i could eat so i started eating cheese again and after about a month’s worth of shakes from Steak and Shake, i gained all my lovely weight back. Hooray!

I then met my now husband. He thought it was ‘cute’ that i didn’t eat meat so he tried to have meatless frozen dinners for when i would come to visit. Mmmm. Yummy. Not! When we moved in together, we settled into those sickeningly domestic roles of “I’ll cook and clean, you mow and take out the garbage.” It got too difficult to make two separate meals so i gave in and started eating flesh again. Fast forward almost 8 years and I’m ready to make my move against meat.

As you may have read in an earlier post, my hubby and i started the Nutri-system diet and i have chosen the vegetarian option as a precursor. I have many reasons for doing this. One of them is that my toddler won’t touch meat no matter how i cook it. She chews it, then spits it out. Another reason is my middle child pretty much goes with the flow and as long as there’s food, she’ll eat it. Myself, well, I’ve always been lactose intolerant so cheese hurts, as does a milkshake. I’m wheat intolerant, too, but that one i’ll deal with accordingly. I think the main reason is that whole environmental thing. Going green. You can’t avoid it anymore. Even celebrities are like “i like meat and all, but if it helps get Obama elected, I’ll stop” or whatever lame reasoning those creeps have. I don’t even care anymore, as long as people start doing something. Anything, really. I even called my garbage company and asked for two more recycle bins because i know i can throw more stuff in there and NOT in the local landfill.

I’m listening to my beautiful, wonderful Edward Norton narrate and host a program on channel eleven that i am DVRing to watch later. He’s talking about our country going to shit. Depressing. He said “it’s not enough to do just one thing anymore, we have to do more, but if only one thing is what you’re willing to do, then stop with those little plastic grocery bags. Many countries have banned them already. Why not us, also?” I love him.

Vegan is definitely the ultimate goal, or at least mostly vegan so i bought an arsenal of books online tonight, all of which i have posted in my blog for you to look at and then go purchase for yourselves.

Here’s a link to cupcakes made by my friend Natalie. They are vegan cookies and creme and i think she did a nice looking job, don’t you? you should tell her so. Chicks love compliments. And presents.

Vegan Cookies & Cream Cupcakes

So this will conclude my post on hopefully going vegan. My only issue will be dealing with all the extra gas from all those delicious veggies. I’m gonna have to buy up some stock in beano. Ahem.



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Update coming soon…

Thanks for being so patient with me, i know i haven’t written in a while. My ultimate goal is to post twice a week, include lots of pictures and complain diligently about how terrible i am at my chosen path in life- food preparation for others. I have a few personal issues to work out but once those are done, I’m all yours!

Coming up- My daring bakers challenge. I know we aren’t allowed to post any details about it until the end of the month, so that stinks, but fear not! It will be sooooooooooo worth it.

I have a tasting Friday. For a young lady’s bridal shower coming up in August, she would like to try my edible white chocolate cups with chocolate mousse and fresh berries on top. I’m going to present it on my stackable cake plates of course, with whatever flowers she likes (in her wedding colors, also) placed appropriately in between all to resemble a beautiful shower cake. It will be awesome.

In a few weeks, i have a bridal shower with an English tea party theme, also with an advice theme. She’s asked me to make flags for some of the cuppies that say things like “don’t go to bed angry” and blah blah blah. I actually picked out a few more risque ones, but I’m not going to tell her. She’ll get a kick out of them. I’m also going to make lemon angel food cupcakes, as well as banana walnut, cappuccino chip, and carrot all in mini cupcake form. did i mention i will also be doing her scones, devonshire cream, and cucumber finger sammies? she’s a good friend, so i figured why not. If you wanna pay me to make gnome food, cool. I’m down with that.

I also have a few orders for mother’s day. I hope i get to see my own mommy, as i will be working that day, bringing food to other people’s mothers at one of my other jobs. ( i currently hold three part time jobs)

Here’s what I’m working on for tomorrow…

raspberry cupcakesMy best friend is going to bring two half dozens of my favorite flavors to the doctors office where he and i both know people but I’m too shy to do my own dirty work. i guess in this area of my life, i have a tiny self-esteem issue when there was not one before. I’ll get over it but until then, he can be a trooper and help me out.

The first one is a chocolate cupcake filled with raspberry ganache and topped with chocolate raspberry buttercream. The recipe is as follows but to be honest, you can use which ever your favorite is because the real star of this show is the ganache you plop inside right before baking, and of course the frosting. Mmmm….i can almost taste them now…

Chocolate Cupcakes

1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup buttermilk

Oven at 350. Line pan with paper liners. Mix dry stuff in one bowl, mix wet stuff in bowl, minus the buttermilk. Alternately whisk in flour mixture and buttermilk into butter mixture until smooth. Scoop batter into pan.

I would highly recommend having the ganache made and hardened already before you get started on the cupcakes, but hey, if you like wasting your oven’s precious time, knock yourself out.

Easiest ganache ever

3/4 heavy whipping cream

8 oz semi sweet choc chips

1 tsp vanilla

2 tsp raspberry liqueur (don’t worry, the cheap stuff is fine here, don’t run out and buy a $40 bottle of chambord for this. I bought a $7.99 bottle of creme diCassis and it was fabulous. razzmatazz works fine here also.)

Basically, heat the cream over low to medium heat until it is nice and warm. Take it off the heat and stir in those chips. Keep stirring! What are you stopping for!? They need to get smooth and shiny and then you can add your vanilla and liqueur. Now, you get to wait. resist the urge to eat half the bowl like i did the first time i made this. Since you will be filling cupcakes with it, you need to put it in the fridge for an hour. Let it get nice and stiff. Oh, yeah. If you don’t, then when you go to glob it into your cupcake batter, it will fall to the bottom and instead of cuppies filled with ganache, you have some sort of black-bottomed nonsense that i don’t particularly approve of. If you want my recipe for black-bottomed cupcakes, let me know. These aren’t them, so don’t screw this up.

Once it’s hard, grab your one ounce ice cream scooper and get scoopin’. Don’t drop the stuff, place it nicely on top of the batter, otherwise it will fall and blah blah blah read previous paragraph. Oh, and you won’t need the entire scoop filled with the ganache. You can i guess, that would make these super chocolatey though and while i have no problem with that, well, you’re also going to be frosting these, so ease up, all right?

Bake in the oven for about 20-25 minutes. My oven defies the laws of physics and things seem to cook stupid fast so pay attention to your stove. you’ll see the ganache sink and a few minutes later, they’ll be done. About 20-25, like i said. Let them cool for 5 in the pan, then cool completely before frosting.

The frosting is basic chocolate buttercream mixed with a tbsp of seedless raspberry jam and garnished with a frozen, thawed raspberry. The raspberry tends to release a bit of liquid that drips down over the frosting and looks absolutely amazing. I mean you see it and you just have to have it, like when i see a new MAC lipglass in some ugly color of purple.

So here they are. I can’t imagine a bunch of overweight office types NOT liking these, but one of these days, i may actually be surprised by human behaviour. I doubt it though.

I had every intention of publishing the other flavor of cupcake i did tonight that my friend will be bringing to the dentist office but i’m stinking tired. You understand, right? When i get up in the am, this will be the first thing on my to-do list, i promise! Cappuccino chip cupcakes…mmm…

Dream about them until then!

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Strawberry cupcakes, why do i bother?

So Mia’s birthday was last week, but they aren’t having her party until next week because of the crummy not-spring like weather we are currently having. However, yesterday was not too bad, and today will be even better, i hear. Mia is the daughter of one of my best friends in the whole wide world, Britt. Britt and i moved to Las Vegas together. Let’s just say we’ve been through a lot as friends and there’s one thing in particular that she did for me that only a true friend would do, so i will always keep her in my life. Please don’t ask what it was, suffice it to say that it was the equivalent of holding someone’s hair back when they’re puking.

I decided that since Britt was the one who got me the happy cupcake feet for my birthday, i would test them out on her daughter. I was going to make delicious strawberry cupcakes with strawberry cream cheese frosting. Yum! What kid wouldn’t like those? And even better, i was going to shape out to look like a caterpillar, and put candy on them. Mia’s dentist, beware!

So if you have read any of my other posts, you know that i have tried out about 6 different strawberry cupcake recipes in search of one that blows me away. Honestly, they’ve all been pretty lame. This one is my seventh attempt. I used the vanilla cupcake recipe from this book but halved it because i only wanted twelve. The recipe is as follows, with my notes and comments, of course.

1 stick butter, soft

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup self-rising flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla

*1 tsp strawberry extract

*1/2 package strawberry gelatin

*1/2 cup frozen, thawed, chopped strawberries

*this means it wasn’t in the original recipe, i threw it in there

I put the oven at 350, mixed wet, then dry, then mixed it all together, then baked them for 19 minutes. They came out nice and pink and smelled wonderful but there was not even one extra so i couldn’t taste them. I used this very basic recipe for strawberry cream cheese frosting to put on top.

1 pack 8 oz cream cheese, soft and mushy

1/2 stick butter, soft and mushy

2-3 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp strawberry extract

1/2 cup frozen, thawed, chopped strawberries

1 drop red food color, for that extra push over the cliff

You mix the butter and cream cheese together until smooth and somewhat fluffy then start adding in the powdered sugar. Wait until the end to fold in the berries. Try not to get any of the juice in there or you’re going to have to add more powdered sugar and it may get grainy on you. Or stiff. Some people like things that are stiff so if that’s okay with you, enjoy. When i was done frosting them, i rolled them around a plate of tiny round decorative candies just so it was on the edges.

Then i pushed two strawberry creme savers in the top of each one to look like the “spine” of a dragon, or dinosaur, or something else cool a seven year old would like. At this point i couldn’t decide between dragon without wings, or caterpillar with a tail. Whichever, i guess. I also made fondant tail which i rolled around in red food paste until it was a very sickly color of redpink. Shudder.

I then realized that i couldn’t bring them to her until the next day so i stuck them in my wilton cupcake carrier and popped them in the fridge. Guess what happened? I guess any moron with two brain cells to rub together could have seen it coming but alas, i have only one brain cell. Too much pot in high school.

The damn creme savers melted and got all over the tops of the cupcakes! Oh well, i guess that just makes them more strawberry tasting, right?

Here is what they look like after i got to her house and assembled them on her counter. Warning! These are not my prettiest work! I am saved by the fact that she is a kid and anything with sugar is good until you reach a certain height. Lucky! Also saved by the fact that I got her one of those butterfly garden things and some sidewalk chalk. Who wouldn’t want worms on their birthday? I know i would!!

So, happy birthday sweet girl. I hope all your wishes come true. I love you!

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chocolate chip cookies

After being nagged by my husband about how ‘cookies would be a nice change of pace,’ i decided to try and make chocolate chippers. I recalled the recipe for Tollhouse cookies from my days of domestic not-bliss with my first husband, and i put it to good use. Yes, i do have this recipe memorized. I didn’t have a bag of tollhouse chips on hand (the ones in the pic are minis) so i couldn’t look it up. Put your oven at 375. I started with two sticks of unsalted butter that i left out overnight to become room temp, but not totally soft. I tossed in 3/4 cup of white sugar, then 3/4 cup of packed brown sugar. I think you can use light or dark and it doesn’t really matter. I’ve used both and have noticed barely a difference. I tossed two eggs on top of that and mixed with my hand held until beautiful and fluffy. Then i added two teaspoons of vanilla. I am pretty sure the recipe calls for one teaspoon, but i’m a big fan of adding extra vanilla to most of my recipes that call for it. Next, i whisked two and one quarter cups of all-purpose flour with one teaspoon of salt and one teaspoon of baking soda. I put half in the bowl with the butter mixture and blended, then added the last half and blended that also.I made sure to push the sides down with my scraper so i didn’t get any butter or sugar lumpy stragglers. I then mixed in two cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips with my scraper. Don’t use your mixer here unless you want chocolate bits and pieces instead of chips. Also, at this point, you don’t want to over mix the batter anyway or your cookies will be tough and not that great. I mean, you get points for making them with butter instead of nasty old shortening, so that will help with the flavor if you DO over mix. Just try not to . Oh, the salt helps with tenderness also. But still. At this
point you can grab two tablespoons like it did and drop each spoonful onto cookie sheets. You could make them more uniform by using a one ounce scooper, which i have every intention of picking up from Bed, Bath, and Beyond because i will need it for the 72 mini cupcakes i will be baking in May. But that’s neither here nor there. So, for my first pan going in, i always spray with no-stick but i don’t after that first one. My first batch went in for 10 minutes and came out a little more browned than i wanted them to. They still tasted pretty damn good. Not to toot my own horn but uh, beep. The next pans went in for 9 minutes and came out perfect. I let them cool for two minutes on the pan, then completely on the racks. I’ve eaten 5 already. By the time my teenagers get home, there won’t be any left and they’ll be mad. Oops. So this concludes my post on doing something nice for my husband who always tells me i do too much nice stuff for other people and not enough for him. He’s right. I just figured my presence here was gift enough for him. Oh, and here’s the shirt i got from cupcakeroyale.com. I have gotten mad compliments on it. You should buy one.

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