Category Archives: catering

Another Bridal Shower

Can you believe it? someone actually found my website and called to order! I was shocked, too, honestly. I put up that website so my friends and family members could all get a good laugh out of my rudeness. I had no idea someone would actually take any of it serious.

Alas, along came Jan, searching the web for treats for her daughters bridal shower. She remembered having my goodies at a friends son’s christening in which the cupcakes were in the shape of a cross-I kid you not. Not individual cross-shaped cupcakes, nooooooo. She wanted them on a very large platter placed neatly to resemble her saviour’s crucifix. Hey, man, if you’re paying me, I’ll put them in the shape of an inverted pentagram. Whatever.

So Jan read my website thoroughly and called to discuss numbers and flavors. She says, “I read where you put that you only do full dozens and I want you to know, that’s okay. I understand.” It was nice to hear someone agree in the face of the naysayers telling me I should kiss as much ass as possible and just give people what they want. Nah, says I. Not gonna happen.

She ordered strawberry with strawberry cream cheese icing, white chocolate macadamia with orange cream cheese icing, chocolate with chocolate icing, cappuccino chip with coffee buttercream, lemon scented angel food cakes with lemon cream cheese icing, red velvet with plain cream cheese icing, and strawberry margarita. there was something for everyone, including the already-drunk-when-she-walked-in mother of the groom.

I was trying a new cappuccino chip recipe and there weren’t enough to taste so I hope they were good. I always encourage honest feedback from my customers, I hope they don’t just blow smoke up my ass. This recipe called for finely ground coffee in the actual batter which sounded a bit weird and possibly gritty to me, so who knows. She told me everything was fabulous and I really hope that it was. It sure looked good!!

So even though this is a mostly vegan food blog, not one of these recipes is vegan. This blog started out as me complaining about my kids, then went into my small-time baking projects, and THEN went vegan so I feel I must stay true somewhat to my roots and post pics of the stuff I do for others special events.

Oh, and if anyone has any advice on how to make strawberry cream cheese icing pipeable, hit me up. I’m dying over here. All I can ever manage is to put a blob on each cuppie and hope that it doesn’t drip too much. I had so much frosting go to waste because I didn’t know what else to do with the leftover. The very first time I made it, it was phenominal and I don’t know what I did that was different. Oh well!

Here’s the recipe for the angel food cupcakes. I get a lot of peeps asking about this one.

Angel Food cupcakes

½ cup cake flour

¼ cup confectioners’ sugar

5 large egg whites, at room temperature

¼ teaspoon salt

½ tsp vanilla

½ teaspoon cream of tartar

¼ cup plus 2 Tbsp granulated sugar

1-2 tsp grated lemon zest (optional, for lemony angels)

Oven at 325.

Line muffin pan with foil liners. In a small bowl, combine the cake flour with the confectioners’ sugar. In a large bowl, combine the egg whites with the salt, vanilla and cream of tartar and beat until soft peaks form. Gradually beat in the granulated sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time, until the whites are firm and glossy. Sift the flour mixture over the egg whites in 2 additions, folding gently until incorporated.

Spoon the batter into the muffin cups. Bake for 13 to 15 minutes, shifting the pan from front to back, until the cupcakes are springy and golden. Transfer the cupcakes to a rack to cool.

To make them just lightly lemon scented, add 1-2 teaspoons of grated lemon zest to the batter.

To make them a lot more lemony, add ¼ cup thawed frozen lemonade.

I like to be decadent since the cake itself has pretty much no fat. I make my favorite cream cheese icing and when you would normally put in a tablespoon or two of milk to soak up the dryness of the powdered sugar, I put in a tablespoon or two fresh squeezed lemon juice. It’s so tangy you think your lips are going to stay in that puckered butthole position for awhile, but they won’t, don’t worry.

Oh, and If you aren’t feeling decadent at all, just slice strawberries and put those on top, lame-o.

Enjoy!

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Update coming soon…

Thanks for being so patient with me, i know i haven’t written in a while. My ultimate goal is to post twice a week, include lots of pictures and complain diligently about how terrible i am at my chosen path in life- food preparation for others. I have a few personal issues to work out but once those are done, I’m all yours!

Coming up- My daring bakers challenge. I know we aren’t allowed to post any details about it until the end of the month, so that stinks, but fear not! It will be sooooooooooo worth it.

I have a tasting Friday. For a young lady’s bridal shower coming up in August, she would like to try my edible white chocolate cups with chocolate mousse and fresh berries on top. I’m going to present it on my stackable cake plates of course, with whatever flowers she likes (in her wedding colors, also) placed appropriately in between all to resemble a beautiful shower cake. It will be awesome.

In a few weeks, i have a bridal shower with an English tea party theme, also with an advice theme. She’s asked me to make flags for some of the cuppies that say things like “don’t go to bed angry” and blah blah blah. I actually picked out a few more risque ones, but I’m not going to tell her. She’ll get a kick out of them. I’m also going to make lemon angel food cupcakes, as well as banana walnut, cappuccino chip, and carrot all in mini cupcake form. did i mention i will also be doing her scones, devonshire cream, and cucumber finger sammies? she’s a good friend, so i figured why not. If you wanna pay me to make gnome food, cool. I’m down with that.

I also have a few orders for mother’s day. I hope i get to see my own mommy, as i will be working that day, bringing food to other people’s mothers at one of my other jobs. ( i currently hold three part time jobs)

Here’s what I’m working on for tomorrow…

raspberry cupcakesMy best friend is going to bring two half dozens of my favorite flavors to the doctors office where he and i both know people but I’m too shy to do my own dirty work. i guess in this area of my life, i have a tiny self-esteem issue when there was not one before. I’ll get over it but until then, he can be a trooper and help me out.

The first one is a chocolate cupcake filled with raspberry ganache and topped with chocolate raspberry buttercream. The recipe is as follows but to be honest, you can use which ever your favorite is because the real star of this show is the ganache you plop inside right before baking, and of course the frosting. Mmmm….i can almost taste them now…

Chocolate Cupcakes

1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup buttermilk

Oven at 350. Line pan with paper liners. Mix dry stuff in one bowl, mix wet stuff in bowl, minus the buttermilk. Alternately whisk in flour mixture and buttermilk into butter mixture until smooth. Scoop batter into pan.

I would highly recommend having the ganache made and hardened already before you get started on the cupcakes, but hey, if you like wasting your oven’s precious time, knock yourself out.

Easiest ganache ever

3/4 heavy whipping cream

8 oz semi sweet choc chips

1 tsp vanilla

2 tsp raspberry liqueur (don’t worry, the cheap stuff is fine here, don’t run out and buy a $40 bottle of chambord for this. I bought a $7.99 bottle of creme diCassis and it was fabulous. razzmatazz works fine here also.)

Basically, heat the cream over low to medium heat until it is nice and warm. Take it off the heat and stir in those chips. Keep stirring! What are you stopping for!? They need to get smooth and shiny and then you can add your vanilla and liqueur. Now, you get to wait. resist the urge to eat half the bowl like i did the first time i made this. Since you will be filling cupcakes with it, you need to put it in the fridge for an hour. Let it get nice and stiff. Oh, yeah. If you don’t, then when you go to glob it into your cupcake batter, it will fall to the bottom and instead of cuppies filled with ganache, you have some sort of black-bottomed nonsense that i don’t particularly approve of. If you want my recipe for black-bottomed cupcakes, let me know. These aren’t them, so don’t screw this up.

Once it’s hard, grab your one ounce ice cream scooper and get scoopin’. Don’t drop the stuff, place it nicely on top of the batter, otherwise it will fall and blah blah blah read previous paragraph. Oh, and you won’t need the entire scoop filled with the ganache. You can i guess, that would make these super chocolatey though and while i have no problem with that, well, you’re also going to be frosting these, so ease up, all right?

Bake in the oven for about 20-25 minutes. My oven defies the laws of physics and things seem to cook stupid fast so pay attention to your stove. you’ll see the ganache sink and a few minutes later, they’ll be done. About 20-25, like i said. Let them cool for 5 in the pan, then cool completely before frosting.

The frosting is basic chocolate buttercream mixed with a tbsp of seedless raspberry jam and garnished with a frozen, thawed raspberry. The raspberry tends to release a bit of liquid that drips down over the frosting and looks absolutely amazing. I mean you see it and you just have to have it, like when i see a new MAC lipglass in some ugly color of purple.

So here they are. I can’t imagine a bunch of overweight office types NOT liking these, but one of these days, i may actually be surprised by human behaviour. I doubt it though.

I had every intention of publishing the other flavor of cupcake i did tonight that my friend will be bringing to the dentist office but i’m stinking tired. You understand, right? When i get up in the am, this will be the first thing on my to-do list, i promise! Cappuccino chip cupcakes…mmm…

Dream about them until then!

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Baking a million cupcakes

I started today with my job coming up on Thursday. I only have 5 more to go, then i get to frost all the damn things on Wednesday morning. I know it may sound silly, but i did indeed bake some today, just to freeze them until Wednesday. I want to be prepared and i thought this would be the best way to do it. I have frozen cupcakes before and as long as they weren’t crappy going into the freezer, they’ll come out okay. Plus, i didn’t want to leave them out for 5 days. they’d get all kindsa crumbly and stale and I’m not putting my name on something shitty. However, I’m freezing the ones with ganache in them and also the ones with the Andes candies in them, so that may be a problem, but we shall see. I will post pictures as soon as i actually frost them but until then, you aren’t getting photos of my bald cupcakes.

My oldest daughter just told me she upped her ear gauges to a 6 and that she got stepped on by her friend’s horse today that ripped her shoe and gave her a wicked bruise.

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Fudge brownies

0041.jpgSo the job i am doing today consists of my fudge brownies, mini banana split cupcakes, and chocolate cupcakes with a ganache center and chocolate frosting. People love their chocolate.

I just finished making the brownies and they look nice. I have to say, i hate making brownies, mainly because i think i suck at it. However, this lady had my brownies at Saturday’s spa party and when she called, the first thing she said was ” i want those brownies.” Excellent.

I made them in my silicone heart-shaped molds. I think it gives them that little something extra, don’t you think? Oh, and i made them while rocking out to Johnny Cash’s greatest hits.

Also, my husband thought the last batch of my brownies weren’t chocolate-y enough, but I think he’s a retard so we’re even. You decide…

Oven at 350

1/3 cup butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

¾ cup flour

½ cup cocoa

¼ tsp salt

¼ tsp baking powder

½  cup semi sweet choc chips

 

In large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar, then eggs and vanilla. In separate bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, salt. Stir into butter mixture until blended. Add chocolate chips. Fill lined cups 2/3 full. Bake 13-15 minutes.  Don’t forget to line cups!! (unless you use the silicone cups like i do, then you have to wait until they cool completely before taking them out. And i mean cool completely.) Dust with powdered sugar.

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Delicious Dish

109_0275.jpgSo, my party on Saturday was a wonderful success. Here’s a little background… Amy is a woman i know through a great friend of mine and her husband also happens to be my dentist. I have great teeth. So there we are at a party in her home and she begins to tell us of a little soiree she is holding in which there will be manicurists, pedicurists, masseuses, etc. and she’s having it catered. Robert  chimes in and says “Well, Tara is starting a catering business that’s just desserts (hence the name) so why doesn’t she do your sweet table for you?” I was in shock when she said yes and asked what i did exactly. I mean, I didn’t really know. At that point, it was just brainstorming. And yes, I would share it with Robert as he would be over at my house at least 3 nights a week, but i didin’t think anyone else would take me seriously.

I would wait for Olivia to go to bed and i would sit in front of my computer thinking of things i could do with my life. I was getting restless and sorry to say, bored. I wrote down all the things i was good at that could be moneymakers for me- writing, baking, or doing makeup on dead people. That was it. Out of  those, i picked baking as the one the one thing i could probably be comfortable with at this point. So I was just jotting things down in a binder and trying to figure out what it would take to run a baking business out of my house. When Amy said she wanted me to do her spa party, i was so nervous. Naturally, all the questions rattled around in my brain.

What if no one likes my stuff? It’s one thing that my fatso husband will like whatever i make but the public? And would they be willing to pay for something they can buy so much cheaper?  I went home and got started on everything i would need. I had over a month to prepare but it still didn’t seem like enough time. I wanted to put all my recipes on my computer (all the good ones anyway-some are NOT winners) and then there were the supplies…oh god, the supplies…the flour, sugar, butter, eggs, and all those little extras like mascarpone cheese for the frosting on my red velvet cupcakes, the torch for the sugar on my creme brulee, it was all so overwhelming.

It took a while but then I knew what i wanted to do. The vision i have for my business is this- you call me and tell me what you want, i show up with the goodies, display stands, table cloth, table, name cards, etc. and all you do is pay me. I come back that night or the next day to get my stuff and voila! Your dessert table is taken care of. Here’s the catch- I’m only doing individual desserts. Not cookies, cakes, bars or other crap i don’t care about. Fudge brownies, creme brulee, cheesecakes, and OF COURSE cupcakes, among other things. Can you picture white chocolate cups with mousse on the inside and white chocolate curls on top? I’m going to do tiramisu in three different flavors and god help me, individual fruit pies. I’m drooling thinking about it. I can’t wait to get more people lined up for my stuff.

I’m so excited now. And i have another party lined up for tomorrow at 4. I’m baking stuff for a wake. I wonder who died.

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Wow…so much to do

As i had previously posted, my first gig is coming up on Saturday. I am thrilled but each day I realize there is something else i need to do. I want this to be the kind of thing where you just call me up, tell me what you want, and i bring over my own card table, tablecloth(with cupcakes on it, of course), stands and tiered cake platters, name cards, etc. and for a fee you don’t have to worry about anything. So now i realize that I can’t just borrow a kitchen torch anymore, i have to actually buy one of my own. I have a feeling the mini creme brulees are going to be huge. I can’t wait to take pictures for all to see of the finished product…the table with everything on it, looking beautiful and quite delicious. Coming Saturday night! Stay tuned!

As i said before, i’m now going to speak my peace about going green…grrr…

Don’t force me to do things. The second you tell me I HAVE to do something is the second it becomes obsolete for me. That’s just my biology and I’m not going to apologize for it.  I have three recycle bins on my back porch and by Monday am they are overflowing with crap so don’t whine at me about switching cars or buying canvas grocery bags. I recycle the plastic ones…what? I also donated my time to a bird rescue a while back. After that, i rescued one dog, one lizard, one bird, and two cats from certain death. I feel sorta bad that our planet is going to shit but there is only so much i, as one person, can do. I was a vegetarian for years, was vegan for just under a year, and personally, i think that is probably the one thing that we can all do on a singular level to help with the environment. No, I’m not a veg now, sorry. I have a nasty wheat intolerance and all i DID was eat bread and pasta products so that idea is scrapped for me. My daughter is, though, and i support her100% even though her dad routinely makes fun of her and constantly asks me where she got such an idea. I tell him she got it from her lesbian witch group that meets on Friday nights. Douchebag. Anyways…my point was stop trying to make me feel guilty, America! I’m doing what i can right now and yes, when i open my bakery, i will recycle every damn thing. Until then, suck on it!

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My new business

106_0165.jpgI am very excited today because I am seeing one of my dreams through to fruition. (wow. A word i never thought i’d use. hm.) I decided a while back that i was going to start an individual dessert catering business. I will be making cupcakes, brownies, cheesecakes, creme brulee, tiramisu, cobbler, pie, and anything else that i can cram into my muffin pans. I have a zillion recipes, but you know that goes. After the first two hundred, you end up just kind of switching an ingredient here or there and calling it a different recipe, but whatever. I had to get creative with how i decorate them, also. I have cute as hell toppers and stuff and I’m going to buy a killer airbrush machine with the proceeds of my first sale. I also had to get creative with what i call them. “The Big Lebowski” cupcakes- kahlua and vodka cupcake with kahlua whipped cream frosting. “The Karen Walker”- vodka and orange juice cupcake with fondant rolled up to look like little xanax and vicodin. I named one after almost all of my friends. “The McFarland”- tequila, triple sec, lime juice cupcake with strawberry frosting. The bitch likes maragaritas. Too bad she’ll never taste these- she’s wheat intolerant. “Randi’s cupcakes”- pineapple upside down cakes. These are named for her because her boyfriend likes them. He’s a good kid. I also have ones in development I’m calling “Robert’s cupcakes” because they will have all the elements of a cosmopolitan, his favorite drink. Yeah, he’s gay. What?

So, you get the picture with these. I just sent my client a pretty sizeable list of cupcakes to choose from. At first she had told me she wanted to do a tasting. that’s pretty much a logistics nightmare. She picks out 15 cupcakes she wants to taste and then what the hell do i do with all the leftover? Some of those freeze well, some do not. So hopefully she will just trust my descriptions and we can go from there.

As for my peanut today…well…a stinker as always. Her hair is getting damn curly in the back, kinda like my ‘fro. I got her this aqua doodle thing and after telling her 98 times “don’t put that pen thing in your mouth,” she put it in her mouth and walked around like that so i took the pen thing away. By the way, this thing is a stroke of genius. It only writes on the mat, then it evaporates and she can write some more. She loves it. She kept trying to write on real paper. Ha! Sucker! Oh, and her face.

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