Vegan Cheesecake with Vegan Gluten/Wheat Free Crust

It probably doesn’t look all that great, huh? Well, I’m not sure if it tastes all that great either because i haven’t tried it yet. My best friend Robert said his favorite thing in the whole wide world is cheesecake so i figured I would give it a go.

No, he’s not vegan. But he said he would be willing to try this cheesecake. I went ahead and wrote down all the calories and fat of everything i was putting into this sucker, too. I got just under 300 calories and about 12 grams of fat per slice, if you divide it into 8 pieces and eat it plain. And if you care about the fat and calories you are consuming. Sometimes i care, sometimes not. Plus, I made my own fruit topping of blueberries and cherries that I plan on putting on top of my piece. I know there’s no fat in there, but I don’t know about the calories. I forgot to write it down, and i don’t feel like doing it now. People must not realize how easy it is to make your own fruit topping. They just follow the rest of the lemmings over the cliff and buy that crap in a can. Oh well. Here’s the crust recipe i got with my notes, as usual, following the asterisk and in italics-

2 cups Grape-Nuts cereal or vegan honey-free granola, (remove any dried fruits from the granola beforehand if necessary) *i passed on the Grape Nuts as it has wheat in there and I am somewhat gluten intolerant.i used Health Valley. They left the fruits in a little package on the side so i got to be super lazy and NOT remove them. Yay me!
¹/₄ cup maple syrup *i just used what was in my cabinet. I know they want you to always use pure, but that crap is expensive, yo!
¹/₄ teaspoon almond extract

Preheat oven to 350º F.

Place cereal in a blender or food processor and grind to fine crumbs (but NOT to cereal-dust), about 2 minutes. Transfer to a mixing bowl and mix in the maple syrup and almond extract. Mix well until crumbs are moistened. *The food processor part only took me like a minute.

Pour into oiled 9-inch pie pan and press mixture in evenly to form a crust. Bake 5 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool while preparing filling of your choice. *I used one Tbsp of canola oil

I may actually use about half cup more of this stuff as it did not go all the way up my pie plate’s sides. Bummer. So here’s the cheesecake part-

1 container Tofutti brand cream cheese alternative

12 oz or one package silken tofu *Don’t forget to drain out the water, like i did!! Also, i used Mori-nu extra firm. I hope that doesn’t affect it. Oh, well. (extra firm, my ass.)

1/3 cup soy milk

1/3 cup corn starch

1 tsp vanilla

2 tbsp maple syrup (optional) *I put it in mine just for extra flavor

2/3 cup powdered sugar

1 tbsp lemon juice

3 tsp egg replacer

2 Tbsp water

2 Tbsp vegetable oil

Oven at 325.

Mix the egg replacer with the water in a small bowl until smooth and add to blender. *I used my food processor. I love it. Blend together all ingredients, except for oil and crust (*duh) at medium speed until smooth.

Mixture should be thick and creamy. Slowly incorporate oil by pouring in at low speed.

Pour into pie crust and bake 45-50 minutes or until just barely firm. The cheesecake will not change color or rise up, but don’t be afraid to take it out of the oven! Allowing it to cool and refrigerating or freezing slightly before serving will firm it up to the proper texture. *I baked mine for exactly 45 minutes and it was a tiny bit brown around the edges, but that’s okay with me. Really.

Enjoy your tofu cheesecake! Drizzle with chocolate syrup or garnish with fresh fruit as desired. *I made a fruit topping.

For my homemade fruit topping i simply took 1 cup frozen cherries, i left them whole, and about 1/2 to 3/4 cup frozen blueberries. I put them in a saucepan. I added water just to cover. I added 1/4 cup sugar. I also hit it with a tiny bit of lemon juice. I let it boil and stirred here or there. You can add more sugar if you like it sweeter but I like to taste the actual fruit, thanks. Then i added a previously blended mix of 1/4 cup cold water and 1/4 cup cornstarch. I let it drizzle in and let my berries come to a boil again. It got super thick, so i added extra water, a little at a time. It got to a perfect consistency for me so i took it off the stove, transferred it to a bowl and let it cool.

I think i could have eaten the whole bowl of fruit right there, as gross as that may sound because of the corn starch. I love blueberries, though. When i was a kid and i used to visit my daddy in Maine, we used to pick the blueberries that grew right in our front yard. Sometimes, that was all i would eat for days!

Well, enjoy your vegan cheesecake. I hope mine turns out okay. I can’t wait to try it later.

By the way, i still haven’t gotten my book by Dreena Burton, Eat, Drink and Be Vegan. I wonder what happened to it? Curse you, Barnes and Noble online!

A Little Post About Bags…

First, i would like to say that I am not really a tree hugger. I’m what you call a poser. When it’s convenient for me, I’ll do whatever you ask as far as recycling or whatever. But honestly, we drive an SUV. And the worst kind, too. It’s an H3. Barf. Now, don’t get too excited, it was a lease. Anyone can get a lease. Even us broke folk. But regardless, from the second he brought it home, i was embarrassed. I think they’re ugly. They use way too much gas. Plus, they aren’t all that good for hauling stuff. There’s no hitch and that back door opens to the side. Not downwards like every other truck on the planet. What’s the point?

Oh, and there are certain things i get nasty about, I’m not gonna lie. If I’m in a restaurant with friends and one even thinks about ordering the veal, i go through my rundown about baby cows. I did this even when i happily ate the baby cows mama as my own dinner. I just happen to think treatment of baby cows for this purpose is unacceptable. Same thing with goose liver pate. I would love to do the same thing to some jackass that’s done to those geese. But i would gladly eat Mother Goose’s cousin, el pollo. Get what I’m saying? Total poser.

I stopped eating meat and am currently cleaning out my fridge of most animal products. Except for the stuff my hubby eats. He refuses to go veg. Whatever, that’s his choice and I’m not going to be a sterotypical vegan asshole about it.

But this bag thing…it’s got me bummed. I ordered cloth grocery bags from Bake And Destroy and I love them so i leave them in my car because I’m a forgetful moron, and i often have to stop for crap like paper clips, or diapers. When i do, my local chain grocer employees look at me like I just asked them to wear a leopard thong and grease up. No, really, it’s getting ridiculous. I go into the bag-the-damn-stuff-yourself lane and one of the workers came over to help in an effort to hurry me out of there. The first thing she did was open up a plastic bag. I very quickly-and shortly- told her i brought my own bags and I will do it myself. Cue the eye roll, please. Grrr…. I wrote a letter to Jewel, yes, Jewel, or Albertson’s to all you westerners, and i got some very generic form letter back. Jerks.

To all of you reading this…if you’re not going to buy the bags Jewel sells for a dollar a piece then please please please make sure you are recycling those plastic bags. Each Jewel has a giant box posted by the front door for this purpose. Use it! Good karma will follow you everywhere, i swear!

Cinco de Mayo!

Well, that was yesterday, but still.

My best friend came over to see if i wanted to go out and get a drink. I said, “Why go out when I’ve got a perfectly good Margarita right here!” In cupcake form, of course. The recipe is from-where else- Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. Someday soon i might read a different cupcake book, but don’t bet the farm that it’s going to be THAT soon.

So the recipe called for a quarter cup of lime juice with another 3 tablespoons for the frosting, but i only had one lime so i had to make it work. I grated off all the peel i could, then juiced the holy hell out of that poor little lime. I got barely a quarter cup. I used most of it, and the zest, in the cupcake batter, then added whatever was left to the frosting. Can i just tell you how lime-like these things tasted? And that was with barely half of the lime juice that i should have used so imagine how puckered my face would have looked biting into one made from the full amount!!

The recipe also called for two tablespoons of tequila. In all fairness, she does state to let them rest for a couple of hours so that the flavors may develop. I anxiously waited…about an hour and a half. I could wait no longer. At least one of those cupcakes needed to get in my belly. Now. They were delicious, as i already said and with enough lime to cure the rickets of any Brit, but i couldn’t really taste the booze. Maybe i didn’t let them sit long enough? Who knows. I hate tequila anyway. I think it tastes…brown. So I guess I’m glad my cupcakes didn’t taste brown. If i were any more of a boozehound, though, i might have been disappointed at the lack of tequila flavor, but as it is, I’m okay with it.

I also made cholent from Veganomicon. I guess it’s a traditional Jewish meal, veganized. Or as my visiting friend called it, Jew Stew. “Is it made from real Jews?” She says. (Not offensive at all, right?) apparently she’d heard of it before. Very funny. The only things i did different to the recipe were A) i did not add caraway seeds. They were too expensive at Jewel. I’m in the process of getting all my herbs and spices online and in bulk but until then, you’re not going to see these little guys in my food and B)I did not deglaze with wine, i used veggie broth. I have used wine in my cooking before and my kids think it makes stuff taste funny. Since they will be eating two-thirds of what i make, i must comply with their wishes. I guess that’s good, though, right?

We all loved it. It really was delicious, even without the seeds. I added some leftover tvp i had in the freezer from when i bought it for Carmen and she was supposed to learn how to stir-fry. Turns out she’s a lazy vegetarian. “I don’t wanna do all that work,” she said. Yeah, me either. But i did.

Well , i sort of did. This stew is not that difficult to make. I’m a huge fan of being able to throw things in a pot, let ‘em simmer and then get to eating an hour later or so. It needed salt, but that’s because i don’t put it in anything i make. All my food is bland and i get to hear about it daily. Whatevs.

See you tomorrow for some more news on baking and eating!

Adventures in Vegan Cooking! And other stuff!

So much to post about today and i think i will start with this hilarious cross-stitch i got from a gal named City in New Zealand. Yes, that’s me in the picture. Ain’t i cute? Her site is on my blogroll where it says ‘city the nz cupcake queen.’ I think it should also say “city the nz cross-stitch queen’ cuz this thing is awesome. I have already pissed off my husband by not just owning it, but proudly displaying it in my kitchen where his uber-religious family members can see it. His brother-who is in a locally popular screaming hardcore band- says to me, “What kind of crowd are you running with these days? Geez…” I reply with “the usual. But it’s funny right? Cuz I’m a suburban housefrau but i worship satan. Come on, that’s funny, dammit!” Well, i think so.

City also features knuckle tattoo cross-stitches that read ‘cupcake’ and star wars.’ Cupcakes rule! Star wars, well, i guess thats an acquired taste but anyway. She sells her stuff on Etsy, which is where i picked mine up. you can go here to look at her shit.

Next, as i have said in my previous post, i am going mostly vegan. Why not all the way? Because I have to taste frostings and stuff, made with butter and a tiny bit of cream, to make sure they don’t taste like poo before someone pays money to eat them. When my hubby is home, he is usually my guinea pig but since he works nights, and a lot of my baking gets done at night, what do i do? I call myself vegetarian with a serious bend towards the darker side.

I went to our local health food store and holy mother of god are they expensive. But i want to support local business so i do it anyway. Plus, the place is owned by two of the coolest broads ever, and quite militant about eating vegan. Usually that turns me the hell away from vegans (and another reason why i hesitate to call myself that) but she says it with a smile and that just makes it all better.

I stocked up on some of the stuff i need to get a good start (oh, how i wish the whole foods wasn’t an hour away, sniff) but i have to go back for other stuff. My pal Kristen wants me to experiment with gluten-free crap so i’m going to buy about four different kinds of flour, probably to the tune of about $30. That’s okay though. When i open Joliet’s first cupcake shop/bulk spice store, i want to know what the hell i’m doing, you know?

Forgot to mention- this was my lunch for the past few days. I roasted some asparagus by rolling it in about a tablespoon of olive oil, salt and pepper and throwing it in the over at 400 for 15 minutes. When those tips turn black, you’re done. then i did about the same thing to the cauliflower, only i added garlic and oregano. It took about half an hour. Again, when some of the tips turned black, i took it out. i let it cool and then tossed it into the food processor until it was a coarse meal. Frigging awesome! Heaven (if i believed in it) on a platter!!! This is actually quite economical, too. All you need is a head of cauliflower and a bundle of asparagus. Next, i made some delicious pan fried tempeh to go with it. Just slice into strips, put it in a pan with veggie broth, cook until the broth goes away and it starts to get more browned, then put in some tamari(or soy sauce, whatever, really) and liquid smoke. i ate this for lunch for four days!

A super healthy meal and completely cruelty free. Unless you count the smell that’s all up in my house and my husband saying stuff like “making me smell that crap is mean.” He doesn’t count though, right? I’m only supposed to be nice to animals? ok, cool.

So my next experiment was with Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World. the babes who wrote this book have an amazing blog that you can view here. I made the chocolate ones and i didn’t even bother making frosting. Seriously- they did not last that long in my house. they were loved by all. I think i may use this recipe for all my chocolate cupcakes in the future. the were the most moist, most flavorful, and garnered me the most compliments, which is really what i’m after.

As you can see i used my silicon baking cups for these. When I’m baking for my family, why waste paper? They are a pain in the arse to clean up, so spray a little no-stick in there to help you out. Although they will still be hard to clean. So whats worse? Wasting paper or wasting water? I have no idea anymore. Sigh…

I also made these fabulous vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting, vegan of course. you know, it’s times like this when i think that vanilla might be the new chocolate.

Yes, i did use a bunch of different liners for these, i know. I had a few of each different ones left over. A couple from easter, a couple from valentines day. What’s a girl to do? Who cares, just use the damn things. All people really want is what’s on the inside.

I brought these to my usual sunday night hang out when i don’t have to go bring jerkoffs food at the restaurant i work at. I wait anxiously until the baby is in bed and the teenagers are out of the shower and ready for bed. Then i get the hell outta there for some much needed adult time. The gang and i usually hang out at Britt’s house and watch Family Guy reruns.( ps- i hate the everloving crap outta that show but because i want out of my house so bad, i watch it, pretend to get it, then fake laugh.) Anyways, my friends wolfed these suckers down like they were never going to eat again. When i said, “They’re vegan!” only one person knew what that meant. Wow. Why do i hang out with these people again? They don’t even like chocolate. I know! I think it’s mostly for geographical convenience. Just kidding.

<—-Anyways, buy this book, you will NOT regret it. I’m still working on my Veganomicon, picking out recipes, buying ingredients. Oh hey, no one told me this, but seitan is apparently made from the very stuff that makes my insides feel like a mosh pit. Gluten! Argh! (ha! i went all pirate on ya!) I do indeed still eat the cupcakes that i make with flour, yes. I will pay for it all night with frequent trips to bathroom and a can of Febreze air effects close by, but sometimes, it’s worth it.

YOU try being a vegan with a wheat intolerance! It blows big time! Luckily, i love love love tempeh. Still trying to figure out baking tofu, also. Wish me luck! More to come kids, enjoy!!

Daring Bakers Challenge

Has it been a month already? Sure has! For the month of April we all got to make the deliciously delectable cheesecake- in lollipop form! I’m not going to bother posting the recipe because it was rather long and tedious. Suffice it to say that i did NOT add the flour to mine and they still turned out marvelously!

I’m guessing the reason to add flour was to hold them together a little better but regardless, I’ve never heard of adding flour to cheesecake filling, and i was not about to try it out. You know what? They stayed together, spitefully, I’m sure. Although, to really irritate me, they did get Mark removed from Top Chef, and we were supposed to have many curly-haired brats together. Mean cheesecake pops.

Oh yeah, i also decided to give mine more of a cheesecakey look, so after dipping them in semi-sweet chocolate, i rolled them in some old, dust on the box, leftover graham cracker crumbs. According to my husband, you could not even taste the graham, so perhaps next time, i will crush them myself so they are chunkier and not a fine powder.

I did have to bake mine for a lot longer than expected. I also halved(is that even a word?) my recipe because i have no need for that many little cheesecakes in my house when i’m trying to lose 30 pounds. Although, going vegan two days ago means i’m not really allowed to eat them anyways. That’s another post for another day.

I then decided to wrap them up and send them to work with my husband to go whoring for business. I figured, they are tasty little buggers, and they would make a nice little party favor or whatever. Plus, they’re fairly easy to make, and cheap! What’s not to like? I just punched a hole in my business card (which i hate, by the way. i have seen WAY cuter business cards. that’s what i get for being cheap, though. screw you vista print!) and attached it to the loop of string around the stick. Cute!

Thus ending my post on April’s Daring Baker’s Challenge. Was it really all that challenging? Nope. Would I do it a gain? You bet your sweet aspercreme, I will. What a great idea to bring to a party! Well, minus the business card thing. That would be way tacky.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Suck it! I don’t really care! Happy baking all!

Chocolate Mousse

Ah, chocolate. How I love you so. When i was down, you lifted me right up, and my oversized rearend would like to thank you for it.

When someone calls and says, “I want something unique for my bridal shower” i don’t immediately think “oh, cupcakes, of course!” because they just aren’t unique anymore. they’re everywhere now. I even have a cupcake tattoo (along with hordes of other people I’ve seen on the interweb) and I’ve seen cupcake clothing, gear, accessories, shape-sorter toys and the like to the point of it almost being silly. But, I digress. Most of my business is cupcakes so they will always have a special place in my heart.

One of the first things I thought of for this bridal shower were delicate white chocolate cups with a wonderfully light and airy mousse inside that would be topped off with either a sprinkling of fresh berries or a fanned strawberry, whichever looks prettier when i go to buy the fruit. It’s probably a no-no to be posting my recipe here but so many people screw up chocolate mousse that I’m not going to worry about it. I have plenty of patience in the kitchen so it happens to be one of the things that i do well. That and souffle. Plus, i am actually letting her taste three different chocolate mousses (meece?) from three different price ranges and she will get to choose. The one featured here is the cheapest.

I should also add that this recipe uses RAW EGGS. Salmonella alert! There it is. If you missed it, don’t come crying to me that you got sick. Grow a stronger stomach.

First, get a bag of white chocolate and micro it in a heatproof bowl for one minute. Oh yeah, i said micro. you can do the double boiler thing if you want, but i like to save time, energy, and my elbows by just nuking it. It does NOT change the flavor. Stir the holy crap out of it until it is smooth and shiny. Now get to work!

Put about a tablespoon into each muffin tin that has been lined with a paper cup. I was all ready here to use this fancy-ass pastry brush from Wilton’s new line of merch but i ended up just using the back of the spoon i was working with. Soooooo much easier. Oh, i also put these into my silicon cups that are heart-shaped. I thought it would be nice for a bridal shower. My only issue with these is the fill line that gets molded into each cup. Maybe they won’t notice. You can use paper cups, though.

As you can see my fancy shmancy pastry brush just ended up as another chew toy for my terrier, um toddler.

Put them in the freezer for like an hour, then take them out, re-micro the white stuff and use your brush to put on another layer of it. Freeze for an hour again. Now you are ready to fill with this wonderful concoction:

6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips

3 Tbsp unsalted butter

3 large eggs, separated

1/2 tsp cream of tartar

1/4 cup plus 2 Tbsp sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream, very cold

1/2 tsp vanilla

Put the chocolate and butter in a glass bowl and microwave for one minute. Stir until smooth. Let cool for a bit. Whisk in egg yolks, one at a time, until mixture is smooth and shiny. Set aside.

Whip egg whites until foamy, add cream of tartar, then beat till soft peaks form, then add 1/4 cup of sugar, then beat til somewhat stiff peaks form. This will take about 5-7 minutes. It will be gloriously shiny and yummy tasting, almost like marshmallow. Set aside, preferably in icebox to chill until the whipped cream is ready.

In chilled bowl, i used my kitchen-aid, of course, that i had in the freezer for five minutes, place heavy cream and beat until it starts to thicken. Add the two Tbsp of sugar and the vanilla and beat until stiff peaks form.

Now it is time to assemble. Gently fold the egg white mixture into the chocolate mixture. I said gently! Now, because of the cream of tartar it will not fall as badly when warmed but still. Lighten up the color a bit. Then add the whipped cream mixture and gently fold until it is all combined and fluffy. Gently! Geez, what are you a viking? You want to be careful not to mix the air right out of this one.

I’ll admit, it takes a certain type of person to make mousse and I’m NOT that person, so if i can do it, so can YOU! You can either use a pastry bag with the 1M tip for a cool look or you can use a 3 oz ice cream scoop but do something to make it look pretty. Top with either fresh berries or a fanned out strawberry.

I’m also going to add that these aren’t very good two days later. I don’t know why, they just weren’t. The mousse didn’t stay very fluffy at all, so eat them the day you make them, or the day after. Still chocolatey, still yummy, just not mousse-ey. Enjoy!

Just Desserts going vegan?

Nah…but I am going to dabble. Okay, here’s the deal.

Over a year ago my daughter decided she was done eating things that were once alive. She was surfing the web one day and came across the infamous PETA video of minks being skinned alive so that J-Lo may wear their precious fur. She was inconsolable. She said it made her feel guilty, and honestly, like she wanted to throw up all the meat she ever ate in her life. I supported her and tried to make things that i could easily set aside a portion of before i threw the meat into. You know, spaghetti, stir fry, that type of thing. I ended up buying her pre-made vegetarian stuff that while tasty, was not nearly as healthy as it should have been. She informed me that she wanted to do it the healthy way so i told her to go look at my cookbooks, since i have an arsenal of vegetarian and vegan cookbooks from my days as a person who once gave a crap about the environment.

That was so long ago, almost 8 years since i gave it up. Like all new vegetarians, i armed myself with the PETA starter kit-complete with stickers and a list of things that would be different if people would stop eating meat- and a brand new attitude about the sanctity of life. I was ready to be a good vegetarian, to have a plant-based, peace loving life.

I was shot down by about every single stinking person i came into contact with. I got laughed at, called names, had burger patties thrown at me. Yes, these were actual adults stooping to this level of childishness. I worked in a restaurant and no one there had any patience for a person like me. I was basically against everything they stood for, i suppose. I started to question the aforementioned sanctity of life thinking, “if i shanked one of these jagoffs, would anyone notice? Really?”

Anyhow, I was a vegetarian for quite a few years. I went vegan for about 8 months but I became skeletal because of my work schedule as well as my finances. I was too busy to make things and too broke to buy things pre-made. There was just nothing i could eat so i started eating cheese again and after about a month’s worth of shakes from Steak and Shake, i gained all my lovely weight back. Hooray!

I then met my now husband. He thought it was ‘cute’ that i didn’t eat meat so he tried to have meatless frozen dinners for when i would come to visit. Mmmm. Yummy. Not! When we moved in together, we settled into those sickeningly domestic roles of “I’ll cook and clean, you mow and take out the garbage.” It got too difficult to make two separate meals so i gave in and started eating flesh again. Fast forward almost 8 years and I’m ready to make my move against meat.

As you may have read in an earlier post, my hubby and i started the Nutri-system diet and i have chosen the vegetarian option as a precursor. I have many reasons for doing this. One of them is that my toddler won’t touch meat no matter how i cook it. She chews it, then spits it out. Another reason is my middle child pretty much goes with the flow and as long as there’s food, she’ll eat it. Myself, well, I’ve always been lactose intolerant so cheese hurts, as does a milkshake. I’m wheat intolerant, too, but that one i’ll deal with accordingly. I think the main reason is that whole environmental thing. Going green. You can’t avoid it anymore. Even celebrities are like “i like meat and all, but if it helps get Obama elected, I’ll stop” or whatever lame reasoning those creeps have. I don’t even care anymore, as long as people start doing something. Anything, really. I even called my garbage company and asked for two more recycle bins because i know i can throw more stuff in there and NOT in the local landfill.

I’m listening to my beautiful, wonderful Edward Norton narrate and host a program on channel eleven that i am DVRing to watch later. He’s talking about our country going to shit. Depressing. He said “it’s not enough to do just one thing anymore, we have to do more, but if only one thing is what you’re willing to do, then stop with those little plastic grocery bags. Many countries have banned them already. Why not us, also?” I love him.

Vegan is definitely the ultimate goal, or at least mostly vegan so i bought an arsenal of books online tonight, all of which i have posted in my blog for you to look at and then go purchase for yourselves.

Here’s a link to cupcakes made by my friend Natalie. They are vegan cookies and creme and i think she did a nice looking job, don’t you? you should tell her so. Chicks love compliments. And presents.

Vegan Cookies & Cream Cupcakes

So this will conclude my post on hopefully going vegan. My only issue will be dealing with all the extra gas from all those delicious veggies. I’m gonna have to buy up some stock in beano. Ahem.

Update coming soon…

Thanks for being so patient with me, i know i haven’t written in a while. My ultimate goal is to post twice a week, include lots of pictures and complain diligently about how terrible i am at my chosen path in life- food preparation for others. I have a few personal issues to work out but once those are done, I’m all yours!

Coming up- My daring bakers challenge. I know we aren’t allowed to post any details about it until the end of the month, so that stinks, but fear not! It will be sooooooooooo worth it.

I have a tasting Friday. For a young lady’s bridal shower coming up in August, she would like to try my edible white chocolate cups with chocolate mousse and fresh berries on top. I’m going to present it on my stackable cake plates of course, with whatever flowers she likes (in her wedding colors, also) placed appropriately in between all to resemble a beautiful shower cake. It will be awesome.

In a few weeks, i have a bridal shower with an English tea party theme, also with an advice theme. She’s asked me to make flags for some of the cuppies that say things like “don’t go to bed angry” and blah blah blah. I actually picked out a few more risque ones, but I’m not going to tell her. She’ll get a kick out of them. I’m also going to make lemon angel food cupcakes, as well as banana walnut, cappuccino chip, and carrot all in mini cupcake form. did i mention i will also be doing her scones, devonshire cream, and cucumber finger sammies? she’s a good friend, so i figured why not. If you wanna pay me to make gnome food, cool. I’m down with that.

I also have a few orders for mother’s day. I hope i get to see my own mommy, as i will be working that day, bringing food to other people’s mothers at one of my other jobs. ( i currently hold three part time jobs)

Here’s what I’m working on for tomorrow…

My best friend is going to bring two half dozens of my favorite flavors to the doctors office where he and i both know people but I’m too shy to do my own dirty work. i guess in this area of my life, i have a tiny self-esteem issue when there was not one before. I’ll get over it but until then, he can be a trooper and help me out.

The first one is a chocolate cupcake filled with raspberry ganache and topped with chocolate raspberry buttercream. The recipe is as follows but to be honest, you can use which ever your favorite is because the real star of this show is the ganache you plop inside right before baking, and of course the frosting. Mmmm….i can almost taste them now…

Chocolate Cupcakes

1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup buttermilk

Oven at 350. Line pan with paper liners. Mix dry stuff in one bowl, mix wet stuff in bowl, minus the buttermilk. Alternately whisk in flour mixture and buttermilk into butter mixture until smooth. Scoop batter into pan.

I would highly recommend having the ganache made and hardened already before you get started on the cupcakes, but hey, if you like wasting your oven’s precious time, knock yourself out.

Easiest ganache ever

3/4 heavy whipping cream

8 oz semi sweet choc chips

1 tsp vanilla

2 tsp raspberry liqueur (don’t worry, the cheap stuff is fine here, don’t run out and buy a $40 bottle of chambord for this. I bought a $7.99 bottle of creme diCassis and it was fabulous. razzmatazz works fine here also.)

Basically, heat the cream over low to medium heat until it is nice and warm. Take it off the heat and stir in those chips. Keep stirring! What are you stopping for!? They need to get smooth and shiny and then you can add your vanilla and liqueur. Now, you get to wait. resist the urge to eat half the bowl like i did the first time i made this. Since you will be filling cupcakes with it, you need to put it in the fridge for an hour. Let it get nice and stiff. Oh, yeah. If you don’t, then when you go to glob it into your cupcake batter, it will fall to the bottom and instead of cuppies filled with ganache, you have some sort of black-bottomed nonsense that i don’t particularly approve of. If you want my recipe for black-bottomed cupcakes, let me know. These aren’t them, so don’t screw this up.

Once it’s hard, grab your one ounce ice cream scooper and get scoopin’. Don’t drop the stuff, place it nicely on top of the batter, otherwise it will fall and blah blah blah read previous paragraph. Oh, and you won’t need the entire scoop filled with the ganache. You can i guess, that would make these super chocolatey though and while i have no problem with that, well, you’re also going to be frosting these, so ease up, all right?

Bake in the oven for about 20-25 minutes. My oven defies the laws of physics and things seem to cook stupid fast so pay attention to your stove. you’ll see the ganache sink and a few minutes later, they’ll be done. About 20-25, like i said. Let them cool for 5 in the pan, then cool completely before frosting.

The frosting is basic chocolate buttercream mixed with a tbsp of seedless raspberry jam and garnished with a frozen, thawed raspberry. The raspberry tends to release a bit of liquid that drips down over the frosting and looks absolutely amazing. I mean you see it and you just have to have it, like when i see a new MAC lipglass in some ugly color of purple.

So here they are. I can’t imagine a bunch of overweight office types NOT liking these, but one of these days, i may actually be surprised by human behaviour. I doubt it though.

I had every intention of publishing the other flavor of cupcake i did tonight that my friend will be bringing to the dentist office but i’m stinking tired. You understand, right? When i get up in the am, this will be the first thing on my to-do list, i promise! Cappuccino chip cupcakes…mmm…

Dream about them until then!

Strawberry cupcakes, why do i bother?

So Mia’s birthday was last week, but they aren’t having her party until next week because of the crummy not-spring like weather we are currently having. However, yesterday was not too bad, and today will be even better, i hear. Mia is the daughter of one of my best friends in the whole wide world, Britt. Britt and i moved to Las Vegas together. Let’s just say we’ve been through a lot as friends and there’s one thing in particular that she did for me that only a true friend would do, so i will always keep her in my life. Please don’t ask what it was, suffice it to say that it was the equivalent of holding someone’s hair back when they’re puking.

I decided that since Britt was the one who got me the happy cupcake feet for my birthday, i would test them out on her daughter. I was going to make delicious strawberry cupcakes with strawberry cream cheese frosting. Yum! What kid wouldn’t like those? And even better, i was going to shape out to look like a caterpillar, and put candy on them. Mia’s dentist, beware!

So if you have read any of my other posts, you know that i have tried out about 6 different strawberry cupcake recipes in search of one that blows me away. Honestly, they’ve all been pretty lame. This one is my seventh attempt. I used the vanilla cupcake recipe from this book but halved it because i only wanted twelve. The recipe is as follows, with my notes and comments, of course.

1 stick butter, soft

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup self-rising flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla

*1 tsp strawberry extract

*1/2 package strawberry gelatin

*1/2 cup frozen, thawed, chopped strawberries

*this means it wasn’t in the original recipe, i threw it in there

I put the oven at 350, mixed wet, then dry, then mixed it all together, then baked them for 19 minutes. They came out nice and pink and smelled wonderful but there was not even one extra so i couldn’t taste them. I used this very basic recipe for strawberry cream cheese frosting to put on top.

1 pack 8 oz cream cheese, soft and mushy

1/2 stick butter, soft and mushy

2-3 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp strawberry extract

1/2 cup frozen, thawed, chopped strawberries

1 drop red food color, for that extra push over the cliff

You mix the butter and cream cheese together until smooth and somewhat fluffy then start adding in the powdered sugar. Wait until the end to fold in the berries. Try not to get any of the juice in there or you’re going to have to add more powdered sugar and it may get grainy on you. Or stiff. Some people like things that are stiff so if that’s okay with you, enjoy. When i was done frosting them, i rolled them around a plate of tiny round decorative candies just so it was on the edges.

Then i pushed two strawberry creme savers in the top of each one to look like the “spine” of a dragon, or dinosaur, or something else cool a seven year old would like. At this point i couldn’t decide between dragon without wings, or caterpillar with a tail. Whichever, i guess. I also made fondant tail which i rolled around in red food paste until it was a very sickly color of redpink. Shudder.

I then realized that i couldn’t bring them to her until the next day so i stuck them in my wilton cupcake carrier and popped them in the fridge. Guess what happened? I guess any moron with two brain cells to rub together could have seen it coming but alas, i have only one brain cell. Too much pot in high school.

The damn creme savers melted and got all over the tops of the cupcakes! Oh well, i guess that just makes them more strawberry tasting, right?

Here is what they look like after i got to her house and assembled them on her counter. Warning! These are not my prettiest work! I am saved by the fact that she is a kid and anything with sugar is good until you reach a certain height. Lucky! Also saved by the fact that I got her one of those butterfly garden things and some sidewalk chalk. Who wouldn’t want worms on their birthday? I know i would!!

So, happy birthday sweet girl. I hope all your wishes come true. I love you!

chocolate chip cookies

After being nagged by my husband about how ‘cookies would be a nice change of pace,’ i decided to try and make chocolate chippers. I recalled the recipe for Tollhouse cookies from my days of domestic not-bliss with my first husband, and i put it to good use. Yes, i do have this recipe memorized. I didn’t have a bag of tollhouse chips on hand (the ones in the pic are minis) so i couldn’t look it up. Put your oven at 375. I started with two sticks of unsalted butter that i left out overnight to become room temp, but not totally soft. I tossed in 3/4 cup of white sugar, then 3/4 cup of packed brown sugar. I think you can use light or dark and it doesn’t really matter. I’ve used both and have noticed barely a difference. I tossed two eggs on top of that and mixed with my hand held until beautiful and fluffy. Then i added two teaspoons of vanilla. I am pretty sure the recipe calls for one teaspoon, but i’m a big fan of adding extra vanilla to most of my recipes that call for it. Next, i whisked two and one quarter cups of all-purpose flour with one teaspoon of salt and one teaspoon of baking soda. I put half in the bowl with the butter mixture and blended, then added the last half and blended that also.I made sure to push the sides down with my scraper so i didn’t get any butter or sugar lumpy stragglers. I then mixed in two cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips with my scraper. Don’t use your mixer here unless you want chocolate bits and pieces instead of chips. Also, at this point, you don’t want to over mix the batter anyway or your cookies will be tough and not that great. I mean, you get points for making them with butter instead of nasty old shortening, so that will help with the flavor if you DO over mix. Just try not to . Oh, the salt helps with tenderness also. But still. At this
point you can grab two tablespoons like it did and drop each spoonful onto cookie sheets. You could make them more uniform by using a one ounce scooper, which i have every intention of picking up from Bed, Bath, and Beyond because i will need it for the 72 mini cupcakes i will be baking in May. But that’s neither here nor there. So, for my first pan going in, i always spray with no-stick but i don’t after that first one. My first batch went in for 10 minutes and came out a little more browned than i wanted them to. They still tasted pretty damn good. Not to toot my own horn but uh, beep. The next pans went in for 9 minutes and came out perfect. I let them cool for two minutes on the pan, then completely on the racks. I’ve eaten 5 already. By the time my teenagers get home, there won’t be any left and they’ll be mad. Oops. So this concludes my post on doing something nice for my husband who always tells me i do too much nice stuff for other people and not enough for him. He’s right. I just figured my presence here was gift enough for him. Oh, and here’s the shirt i got from cupcakeroyale.com. I have gotten mad compliments on it. You should buy one.